Wating to be put to death
Yeah...not a happy one. Don't read on if you don't want to be bummed out.
This supports the theory that after having a good day, or when I'm really happy, I have bad dreams. I had been pretty stressed recently with work and being away form Cassidy and such, but yesterday I had a really good day at work, and that was the last day of the work week for me so when i got home I could be really happy about being home and not just prepare for the next day of being gone (i.e. clean the breast pump, cook supper, chill for a minute and then go to sleep early).
So I don't remember all of it, or even most of it, but for some reason I was on death row. I had to personally say goodbye to everyone and in the dream I had said goodbye to most people already, but I saw mommy on the street and had to say goodbye to her still and she was trying to have a normal conversation with me, but she started crying.
So then I was taken to where they execute people. It was this basement warehouse thing. Very small. And here was fire off in the back of the room...you could see it really well, and you could see flames around, but it was supposed to all be in a separate room. There were a few other people around, but they weren't significant. I was standing next to these coolers and that is where they stored the ashes of everyone they burned. The huge stack of them was tipping over and pushing on me and almost knocking me to the other side of the aisle (which was not much wider than my shoulder width. Also the ceiling was very low. I probably could have touched it without jumping. So I was there waiting and being sad remembering saying goodbye to everyone and some people brought in a baby in a bouncy seat. I thought they were bringing it in to burn it too, and then I saw it was Cassidy. They were bringing her in for my last goodbye.
That is all I really remember. Ugh.
This supports the theory that after having a good day, or when I'm really happy, I have bad dreams. I had been pretty stressed recently with work and being away form Cassidy and such, but yesterday I had a really good day at work, and that was the last day of the work week for me so when i got home I could be really happy about being home and not just prepare for the next day of being gone (i.e. clean the breast pump, cook supper, chill for a minute and then go to sleep early).
So I don't remember all of it, or even most of it, but for some reason I was on death row. I had to personally say goodbye to everyone and in the dream I had said goodbye to most people already, but I saw mommy on the street and had to say goodbye to her still and she was trying to have a normal conversation with me, but she started crying.
So then I was taken to where they execute people. It was this basement warehouse thing. Very small. And here was fire off in the back of the room...you could see it really well, and you could see flames around, but it was supposed to all be in a separate room. There were a few other people around, but they weren't significant. I was standing next to these coolers and that is where they stored the ashes of everyone they burned. The huge stack of them was tipping over and pushing on me and almost knocking me to the other side of the aisle (which was not much wider than my shoulder width. Also the ceiling was very low. I probably could have touched it without jumping. So I was there waiting and being sad remembering saying goodbye to everyone and some people brought in a baby in a bouncy seat. I thought they were bringing it in to burn it too, and then I saw it was Cassidy. They were bringing her in for my last goodbye.
That is all I really remember. Ugh.
posted by nettymus @ 4:56 PM
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